How do I begin this?

Let me tell you a bit about myself. I have been intentionally and insanely busy most of my life because I have the tendency to run away from my issues by piling myself with activities to the point that I no longer have time to think and reflect.

Okay, that’s a lot. Not the bit that I promised but you get the point.

I am also diagnosed with severe anxiety and possibly other things. So with the pandemic on the mix, I have been totally cray since the Covid happened.

The lock down has forced me to slow down. It taught me to wait, to be patient. and to forgive myself whenever I fall short of these things.

This also reminded me that this pandemic might be a life altering event for most of us but there are far greater things than this. Eternal concerns like hoping for things which we do not see and waiting for it in patience. Waiting isn’t anything new. Waiting has been what I (should) have been doing since my new life in Christ, Maybe I just became more aware of it.

Our French Teacher who has grown to be a very dear person to me would always remind me to keep my calm. He shared this beautiful French saying which goes…

“petit à petit l’oiseau fait son nid”

which means little by little, the bird builds its nest.

I find this encouraging because some days it really does feel like nothing is happening. Most days feel like being trapped in a blur which can be a valid cause for panic. But I have to honor time and its ways. God is not surprised by this pandemic and He has written it in our timelines for a reason. We are growing.. we are being prepared..just maybe one twig at a time.

While it has been challenging for me to wait and be patient, God continues to strengthen and preserve me. This week, I have also been listing some beautiful things that take time. Here are some of them:

Making real coffee takes time but the process from growing beans to the moment when you sip its flavors is just so beautiful. In the past three years, I have been geeking out on specialty coffee but I only found a deeper sense of appreciation for it when I read about profiles of the coffee farmers (from Kalsada and Common Man websites). These people work so hard to ensure we have quality coffee. I know it seems a bit selan but three in one just won’t do.

Writing letters. Just sitting down, thinking of words, not rushing so that your handwriting isn’t sloppy. When did we stop writing letters…and why did we stop? I know text messaging, emails and chats are so much more convenient but I feel like traveling back in time just to immerse myself in the experience of looking forward to a response that may take weeks or months to arrive. (Then I remembered, I have anxiety and overthinking tendencies, but this is still something I’m willing to explore)

I am not yet a plantita of Manila (but yes, I do have intentions of becoming one), but I know for a fact that growing a garden takes time. I also know that leaves beginning to show isn’t the end of the work yet. I love love love love this song by Ben and Ben called leaves but that’s for a different post.

When I was a high schooler, I’ve centered my beliefs on love on a song that goes “It came over me in a rush when I realized that I love you so much that sometimes I cry. But I can’t tell you why..why I feel what I feel inside.” I’m not saying that you can’t really be swept off your feet in an instant. You can. It’s possible. For me, it just means so much more when you wait. When you get to know a person first. When patterns of character is exposed and yet you are still able to accept each other–flaws and all. Falling in love may take time. There is something precious about knowing this– that someone would think you are worth the wait, too. That someone out there is also praying for you.

Lastly, (and for me the biggest deal of all) is that healing takes time. And when rushed, it may cause more wounds. So if you are in pain or hurting– breathe. Don’t rush. Don’t worry. And never compare. We all have unique experiences and so are steps to getting better. You may feel like your life is in ruins but the most valuable lessons can be found in the stories within those ruins. I have learned in the past to ask God, “How can You use this part of my life to bless others?”

What’s your taking it slow story?